Dear Ginger,
Can a mother of the bride be one of the contact numbers to RSVP for the bridal shower? The maid of honor is giving the shower. Thank-you, Judith

.

Dear Judith,
Certainly the Mother of the bride can be listed as a point of RSVP for the bridal shower even though the maid of honor is hosting it. In fact, you can even list the mother of the groom if you are all on good terms. This way the invited guests can RSVP to whomever they feel most comfortable with. Also, it is not proper etiquette (belive it or not) to list where the bride is registered on the invitation. By offering various contacts for RSVP's, the guests will feel more comfortable discussing gifts and registries.

I hope that answers your question. If I may be of any further assistance, please let me know.

Happy Wedding Planning,

Dear Ginger,
We want to elope. We already have our marriage license. What should we do if we just want to go down to the town hall and get married there? Do we have to make an appointment with a Justice of the Peace or something at the town hall? How much money is it going to cost us to go down to the town hall and get married?

Just needed some extra information.

Thank-you

Steph

.

Dear Steph,
Thank you for submitting your inquiry to Ask Ginger.

Yes, you do have to make an appointment prior to heading down to the Town Hall. First off, you want to be sure that the town office you are planning on going to has a JP on staff. Some don't.

You can expect to pay approx. $50-$75 for this type of quick service. There are many other JP's that can marry you at a location of your choice and it may cost you approximately the same $$, depending on how far they have to travel.

Feel free to try to contact some JP's by visiting www.getmarriedanywhere.com and choosing the website representing the location of your wedding, to determine the type of ceremony you would like to request. I hope that answers your question. If I may be of any further assistance, please let me know.

Most Sincerely,

Ginger www.nhweddingmagazine.com www.getmarriedanywhere.com

Dear Ginger,
My boyfriend and I have decided to get married in St. Lucia without our friends and family present, but i would like a keepsake invitation to put into a scrapbook and also to send out with reception cards since we are having a reception after we get home from the trip. How should I word the invitation, stating that we are already married and we would like them to join us at the reception?

Please help!

Angel

.

Dear Angel,
Often brides and grooms who have an intimate destination wedding and a celebration when they return design their Wedding Stationery Ensemble to be 1/2 announcement, 1/2 invitation. There a couple of different ways to word this. Using this format, the actual date is "recorded" as a keepsake on the invitation. Here is the most popular:

Breanna Nicole Smith

and

Robert Thomas Wilson

exchanged marriage vows

Saturday, June twenty-first

Two thousand four

Immaculate Conception Church

South Miami Beach, Florida.

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Wilson

request the honour of your presence

at a Dinner Reception

celebrating their marriage

Saturday, the second day of October

Two thousand four

at half past six in the evening

Cottage by the Bay

114 Main Street

Portsmouth, New Hampshire If I may be of any further assistance, please do hesitate to Ask Ginger.

Most Sincerely,

Ginger www.nhweddingmagazine.com www.getmarriedanywhere.com

Dear Ginger,
My stepdaughter is getting married this coming April in Florida and I have a couple of questions. My husband(brides father)is giving her away and will be wearing a black tux, and I need to know what color of dress to wear... The bride has picked out candyapple for the dresses, which I assume is a red/burgandy color. Also, what length of dress should I wear as this is an afternoon wedding, in a Catholic Church. Vera

.

Dear Vera,
Thank you so much for your question! It's one that many mothers have asked. Some things to consider: 1) Your goal in color choice would be to coordinate your color and style with the wedding party as well as with the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom. If you and they are not that familiar with each other, consider this a wonderful opportunity to get to know one another a little bit better before the ceremony. It will ad so much to the day of the wedding. 2) As far as length, once again, why not coordinate with the input from your stepdaughter and the both other mothers'. Since this is an afternoon ceremony, either a mid lenth or full length would be appropriate, however avoid the full gown effect, unless it is in keeping with the tone set with the wedding party. The wedding pictures are going to be here for a long time. Consider how your outfit will enhance the pictures, based on what you know the others will be wearing and neither diminish nor overstate your presence...This gesture will long be appreciated by the couple! Many happy memories of the day to you, and if I can be of further assistance, please feel free to contact me at: ginger@nhweddingmagazine.com Thank you for "Asking Ginger"

Ginger Thulander www.getmarriedanywhere.com

Dear Ginger,
My soon to be husband and I were discussing where to have our wedding. He would ike it outside but I'm not too keen on the idea. Is an outside wedding a good idea? Kirby

.

Dear Kirby,
Thank you for submitting your question to "Ask Ginger." This is a big answer question.

While an outdoor wedding can certainly be marvelous, there are many variables that can adversely affect what one dreams of to be "The Perfect Wedding Ceremony," that are often overlooked in the onset of the planning.

If you are getting marriedin NH, remind your fiance of one very well know fact; If you're not happy with the weather in NH, wait 5 minutes, it will change. Outdoor weddings can be magnificent, if everything works in your favor and all the T's are crossed and I's dotted. An outdoor wedding does involve a tremendous amount of "extra" attention, but if you have family members and friends to help you, the responsibilities can be shared.

Not knowing where you are considering having this outdoor wedding, I can only offer you some common concerns you'll want to be aware of when planning: Mosquitors, black flies, bugs Parking Portable Bathrooms Heating / Lighting What if the weather is too hot, or too cold? What if it rained the day before and the ground is soaked Back up plan if it rains that day Be aware of the different types of tents and chairs available for rent

Perhaps you can compromise by agreeing upon a facility that has an outdoor deck, or garden area, for use during your cocktail reception, or for photographs. Or, if it's a possibility, host the wedding/reception at a parent's house and set up a nice tented-canopied area in the yard. There's a new book out that features a lot of outdoor weddings you might like to get your hands on called... "Wedding Day Wisdom...Little Details Matter the Most". The weddings featured are very unique and well planned, but clearly labor intensive and expensive. Remember, not all weddings have to be as elaborate as the one's featured, but it gives some good ideas.

Is an outdoor wedding a good idea? Yes, if its what you've always dreamed of, just be prepared to tend to some details / perils that you might not otherwise have had to consider.

Hope that helps you out.

If I can be of any further assistance, don't hesitate to "Ask Ginger."

In the spirit of two becoming one,

Ginger www.nhweddingmagazine.com www.getmarriedanywhere.com

Dear Ginger,
It's great you have a web site where people can submit questions they have regarding their wedding planning. I really hope someone is able to help me out as I'm very stressed out over this! :)

I want a very simple, small wedding party, consisting of a Maid and Maitron of Honor (my sister and cousin). My fiance is insisting his sister be one of my bridesmaids. His sister has never been very nice to me and is often sarcastic and condescending toward me. Needless to say, we are not close at all and I don't feel it is right to put her in our wedding. She is not close to my fiance either, but he feels she should be in our wedding since she is family and he was in her wedding a couple years ago. Whenever I mention how I don't want her in our ceremony, he gets very upset. Do you have any suggestions at all? Do I need to include her as a bridesmaid, or do I have the final word in it since it is my side of the wedding party?

Thanks so much for your time. I really hope to hear from you soon.

Michelle Miami, FL

.

Dear Michelle,
Thank you for submitting your terrific question to "Ask Ginger."

Here's my advice to you; If you have agreed with your fianc￩ to have only a small wedding party consisting of 2 attendees' on each side, then there is no question that you should be able to choose only the two people closest to you. However, if you've agreed to have more than two attendees' , well, you want to consider having his sister included despite your feelings for her but rather out of respect for your Husband -to-be. Remember, a marriage is the union of two "Families." When you marry, you are marrying the family too (sad as that is to accept sometimes), and therefore, your future husband has a privilege of requesting his sister be present in the bridal party, and likewise.

Chances are, she is pressuring him to be in the wedding party. From the way you have described your relationship, its sounds like she would be selfish enough to force the issue...so maybe there's an underlying cause of your fianc￩'s position. If this is in fact the case, anyone that tries to bully their way into a wedding party for self serving reasons is determined to damper your special day. It's best if you accept that now so you can just laugh it off from here on out.

I hope this offers some comfort to you. If I can be of any further assistance, please let me know. Most Sincerely,

Ginger www.nhweddingmagazine.com www.getmarriedanywhere.com

Dear Ginger,
I'm having a small (50-60 people) outside wedding during the foliage season. I want the reception to be at a small rustic restaurant in a wooded settinall I can find are places in the middle of town and ones attached to B&Bs. Do you know where I might find something closer to what I'm looking for?g but

P.S. I don't have a certain area picked yet as I plan on finding a reception site and then hopefully picking somewhere in the woods near there for the ceremoney. Sarah

.

Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your questions. I could suggest a few locations for you that are similar to what your are seeking: " Mile Away Restaurant - Milford, NH (603) 673-3904 (Kevin & Sandra Murphy)

" Pats Peak Ski Lodge - Henniker NH(603) 428-3245 (Doug Peel)

" Candia Woods Golf LInks - Candia (603)483-2307 (Christina)

" The Highlander Inn - Manchester (603) 622-9026

" Molly Stark Tavern - New Boston (603)487-2733 (Carol Maynard)

" Alyssons Apple Orchard - Walpole (888) 852-1100

Any other questions please don't hesitate to "Ask Ginger"

Dear Ginger,
We are planning a wedding for 4-4-04, and I was just wondering if I should send an invitation to my fiance's brother even though he said he would not be able to go? Cora

.

Dear Cora,
Thank you for submitting your inquiry to Ask Ginger.

Your question is a good one, and the answer is yes. You should still honor your fiance's brother with an invitation. His presence is still requested, despite his inability to attend. If I may be of any further assistance please let me know.

Dear Ginger,
When buying liquor for an open bar for the reception, whaty is the recomennded amounts of liquor for 75-80 adults? Include champagne toast for all adults.? Wine and beer? Louise and Donna

.

Dear Louise and Donna,
Thank you for your excellent question. Much of how much you purchase will be determined by the length of the event. But here are some guidelines for you to use.

There are approx 20 -1 1/4 oz shots in a 750 ml bottle of liqour One bottle of wine serves 4 glasses When pouring a toast, fill only 1/4 full , or 1 oz., with this size pour you can supply 10 glasses from 1 -750 ml bottle.

Remember, serve responsibly, and thank you for "Asking Ginger"

Dear Ginger,
I am the stepmother of the groom. The bridesmaids are wearing black and I was wearing black and I was wondering if it was appropriate for me to wear black also. I have looked for months for something to wear and have finally found something but have heard both yes and no to my question. Help!

Sandy

.

Dear Sandy,
Thank you for your excellent question regarding wearing black to your stepson's wedding.

There are many circumstances involved in your situation that prohibit a concise answer which is why this is not a black and white answer. here are some thoughts that will aid you in your decision.

First and foremost, I always suggest you imagine yourself the day of the wedding, in your chosen apparel, with the color scheme and formality of the wedding party, Mothers, and such. Your picture will be taken with this group of people and looked at for years to come. Having said that, you want to keep in mind a few things:

* Match the formality of the wedding. If it's a morning wedding.luncheon reception you'll want to choose a black dress that isn't a full blown evening gown. This is true with any color selection.

* Try to coordinate, if you're all on speaking terms, with the other mothers. This will only bring you all closer and blend a common thread within a very important day for all. Deb Jones, a wedding coordinator in the Lakes Region of NH suggests coordinating with the mothers in a contrasting/comlimentary color.

* Given the wedding is a B&W wedding, is the bride incorporating another color (in the flowers) that you may be able to accent your black dress with to complete your ensemble, offering you coordination with the day but lightening the "black" dress stigma? Melanie Bibbo of Blissful Beginnings suggests jewel tones as pastel colors son't lend themselves complimentary with black.

* Most importantly, consider your position. You may have a more prominent role in your stepson's upbringing than the birth mother, which would put you in a more high visible position (dances adn such. So be sure to discuss your decisions with the bride and groom before getting hte alterations done on that black dress.

Hope all goes well! Ginger

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